Yes, its made a lot of money so far; its edged out Brad & (An)Jen from the top spot, and the director has "kept it real" quite well throughout the story. Here's my rant and rave about it...

• Rave: The story sticks to the original epic really well
• Rant: After treating us to all those martial-arts training sequences at the start of the movie, the real "Batman action" is waayy too fast and dark to comprehend with the average 'cannot see in bullet time' human eye

The suit's good, the BatMobile's sorta nice; although its general shape and insides don't really gel with the original epic; the Batarangs are strangely squarish; and I'm still wondering how / when the original epic had Bruce Wayne telling a "Rachel" about his alter ego.

But, aside from picking at the niceties, its a good movie. We saw it at one of those "dome screen" IMAX setups, and the movie's not made for IMAX just yet - so while the actual experience of watching the movie was eminently forgettable, the movie was not.

Oh, and something that I'll probably submit to MovieMistakes if I don't hear a viable explanation sometime soon...

There's a scene with Alfred telling Bruce that the face mask isn't quite as hard as expected, and going on to break it apart with one swat - and advising Bruce to stay away from "using his head" much.

Not too long after this dialog, Batman is shown hitting some goons with his head....pretty hard.

Who's the detective now?!

The greater the number and volume of adjectives used to describe anything by its creators, the more suspicious I get.

So, when I read about something being an "Embodied, immersive..." game that allows you to jump five meters high and requires dual projection screens, I start thinking of an old fable that went by the title of "The Emperor's New Clothes".

In summary, my immediate reaction to that newsbyte was pretty close to what Morpheus said after Neo made his assertion about kung fu in the first Matrix...

"Show me"

(And I don't mean potentially-PhotoShopped images on their website)

But, if its really all that its website claims it is (comes right after when pigs have wings), I think it would be a lot more helpful to the average richie-rich couch potato than Dance Dance Revolution.

The reviews were all over the paper yesterday. Some spoke of wooden acting, some spoke of an intense story. Most agreed that this was the best way to set the 6-movie-sequence right. And I heard George Lucas say that he had used the opportunity afforded by the sequels to re-center the focus of the epic on Darth Vader, rather than Luke / Leia and the Republic.

The interesting part? Tickets were still available for primetime shows at popular avenues as of last afternoon. A disturbance in public opinion, do I sense?

The rest of the week will be spent almost entirely in Yodaspeak. Brace yourself.

T'was the series finale of "Everybody Loves Raymond" last night. T'was nice. Not too heavy, not too light - just right. Kudos to the team for making a great show out of what most of millions on this planet would call mediocre life. Another attestation to fact often being more fun than fiction.

I was reading an article about it in the paper yesterday, and found myself wondering a description that said it was a show that almost nobody could remember the next morning. For the gazillions that the show has made, this is surprisingly true. Raymond never generated questions like the Friends' shows did, like, "What's happening with Ross & Rachel now?" and "Did you see the famous star who did a cameo yesterday?"; and there was none of the politically satirical / gender-discrimation content that one would spot in the likes of Will & Grace or Sex & The City. So, technically, this was one eminently forgettable show that grabbed 12 Emmys. So much for being about mediocre life.

I'm sure I'm joined by many in wishing the entire cast the best for their future projects, including a nomination for Patty Heaton as the next Martha Stewart. I'm sure Ray, Peter and Brad will show up on Comedy Central or the sort sometime soon - and ditto for Doris.

Movie careers? I dunno - but I loved Raymond's quip when asked about Mooseport. He said he'd heard people walking out of the movie....

...when it was being shown as in-flight entertainment!

Kudos to everyone at Everybody Loves Raymond. We'll always love all y'all!

I don't think I could do the whole month-long-waiting-in-line bit to watch it, but I will get tickets as soon as they're available - either online or at the multiplex across the street.

Whenever I get there, I have half a mind to wear this!

There are two things that most Star Wars newbies find hard to fathom. One - the lightsaber. Two - the force. After that come the eyebrow-raising questions about Luke and Leia, and the last ones are usually about how people understand Chewbacca without subtitles.

I would wax eloquent about the lightsaber, but it turns out that there's a very detailed explanation already posted on the Internet about its innards and how it generates a beam of pure photon energy to slice through anything. About the force, well, I'll save you the Obi-Wan explanation and point you straight to Google with the following hint:

"telekinesis", a.k.a "psychokinesis"

My preliminary attempts yielded an interesting bunch of articles. If you're a good Googler, perhaps you'll get the Johnny Carson video that involved Uri Geller NOT being able to bend the keys.

The part about tele / pscyhokinesis and the force that always bothered me was - why do those who can practise it use it on other things? If they can "impart levitation", why can't they use it to fly? The only person who comes close is David Blaine - and I have a strong suspicion that the media's been brutal to that guy. I think there's some real talent there that's being wasted by scared media reps and the whole occult underground..

In the original trilogy, Vader tosses the Emperor down the shaft at the end. Made for a great ending when I saw it as a kid, but it had me wondering during a recent TV broadcast...how can one toss around anyone who's that good with the force? If "the force is everywhere" and if these Darth, Jedi and Emperor types can indeed use it at will to do anything from move spaceships to changing minds to generating bolts of pure lightning that can kill people - why can't they just use it to stop themselves from every being thrown around? Why can't they use it to fly / levitate? And if the Emperor is the Dark Lord of all things related to the force, why didn't he use it to stop himself from being thrown to his death?!

A battle-weary half-machine picks you up with one hand while you're trying to fry someone with bolts of energy flowing out of your fingers, and then throws you down a shaft where you presumably die - does that really compute? You could fry the half-machine enough to get out of his grip and/or have all the sharp objects in the room poke / impale the half-machine and/or use the force to pick up Mr. Half Machine and throw him across the room....the possibilites are endless.

But I love the series and will be (among) the first one (million) to buy the working version of a real lightsaber whenever it comes out - I have a feeling they'll make it.

Have a great weekend - may the force be with you...

Saw them on both countdowns yesterday. VH1 had them debuting at 17 (on their weekly Top 20) and MTV had them as "next week's potential entry".  They're all there, and the video isn't bad, either. There's a lot of that outstretched-arm-looking-upwards thing, and the backdrop made me think of the sequence from GnR's "November Rain" when Slash does his awesome solo in the desert. I would watch it again.

MTV's got the video up on their website. If you've got the time and bandwidth to spare, take a look.

And then there's Eric Roberts. I spotted him in another video yesterday; and that makes two. What's with that? I never figured him as the cameo-for-a-music-video kinda actor. But then again, I figure Hollywood can be a very expensive place to live...

I don't know what's worse. Being known as an also-ran in Hollywood when one is the sibling of one of Hollywood's finest, or being called an "acquired taste".

For starters, I had no idea that the extended title of the movie was "Hitch: The Cure for the Common Man". Had I known, I would probably have gone in expecting lesser than I did. Perhaps that would've helped. In my opinion, long titles for movies are like long titles at the workplace. Vain attempts at nametag glory. The important people usually have short titles.

(Before you offer the obvious in opposition, try thinking about your workplace without the "janitor", "receptionist" or "secretary"...)

Hitch seemed to have all the right ingredients. The fresh prince, a South American hottie (or so she would like to believe), a subject that seemed to indicate "happily ever after", and promos filled with quasi-slapstick humor. Sounded like a fun way to spend Friday evening.

But it wasn't. Will Smith's character pervades the screen in his cooler-than-thou afterglow; perfect casting - if you ask me. Not to say that I give his acting five stars, but he was a good pick for the role. Eva Mendes on the other hand, confused me with her presence almost as much in this movie as she did in Too Fast Too Furious. <Insert nasty-but-smart remark about Eva Mendes here 'cause I'm convinced its not worth my time to think one up>.

The story? I would characterize it as "patchwork", at best. Interesting groundwork, solid foundation, good setting, credible twist...and then, fizz.

Is this the regular "guys don't dig chick flicks" thing? I don't think so. I didn't really get the watery-eye smile from the chick I went to see the flick with. I think I heard a quiet - "I didn't quite get what everyone was laughing about"..and that ain't good for a movie parading the box office as a chick flick.

Ergo, my conclusion is; a combination of -

• A big movie star
• A well-known female face
• Some club scenes
• Some bar scenes
• Some smooth talk
• Some facts about the dating game
• Scenes with volatile, love-related social situations
• Scenes with either lead showing some skin
• Scenes with apologetic, heart-on-sleeve (loud) conversations
• Scenes with side-stories ending happily

..does not make for a hit. Its the right garnish, but not the right recipe.

And then there was Shark Tale on Sunday night. I slept midway through.

A list of the the best April Fools Day pranks in history.

April 1 has a lot of significance in history, aside from being the "Gotcha!" day. A few examples:

• On this day in 1826, Samuel Morey patented the internal combustion engine. He died sometime in 1843. Just think of the royalty he would've made if he was alive today...even if it was one cent off every internal combustion engine produced commercially!
• Hitler was imprisoned on this day in 1924. He didn't spend the whole term "in the crib", but spent his shortened term writing Mein Kampf.
• On this day in 1960, the US launched its first weather satellite called TIROS-1. On second thought, perhaps there was some Aprils Fools Day content to that..
• On this day in 2001, the Netherlands legalized same-sex marriages
• On this day in 2002, the Netherlands legalized euthanasia. They were on a roll, huh?!
• On this day in 2004, Canada had its first same-sex marriage in Montreal, Quebec.
• On this day in 2004, W signed the Unborn Victims of Violence Act - making the act of killing an expecting mother equivalent to two counts of death

I refuse to talk / write about either Terry Schiavo or the Pope. May all be well with them and theirs...

All Fools Day or not, I'm glad its a Friday! Have a good one, y'all!

Saw the Pacifier on Saturday night. We weren't impressed. Part "Tough guys care about family, too", and part whodunit, it starts with a sequence that shows Tate Donovan being kept hostage on a yacht. That explains his departure from the OC. A few frames late also has the movie alluding that he was shot. Too bad. T'was fun having Jimmy around on the OC.

I was surprised that the movie did better than John Travolta's flamboyant "Be Cool" on opening weekend, but I guess spring break gets the familiies out and "Four tickets, please" probably makes more money than "Two tickets, please". Oh, well.

Then there was "Bollywood / Hollywood" on Sunday afternoon (Showtime) that elicited a yawn and then some. Lisa Ray with a striking American accent and Rahul Khanna with a striking Indian accent. I thought it would be the other way around - given that Lisa rose to fame with the long-running Garden Vareli ad and Rahul was a longtime MTV VJ; before it was MTV-India.

The third turned out to be the best. Clint Eastwood's "Bloodwork" (TNT) was interesting. A true whodunit with the usual "twist at the end" et al. Good stuff.

And there was this instance in which the third wasn't quite the best. IBM's been running a series of ads on primetime TV about their new Help Desk" 'thing'. The first couple were interesting: One spoke about identity management and the other spoke about small businesses. The third was an Asian child asking the IBM Help Desk person about dinosaurs and monsters and the sort. The IBM guy asks her if this stuff isn't taught to her in school, and she replies that she's on a faraway farm in China. The IBM guy then welcomes her to their online, virtual classroom that would always have a seat for her.

Interesting message, but here's the part that didn't ring right with me. She's a child on a faraway farm in China who can't get to school, but can get to the IBM Help Desk website for a welcome into an online classroom for answers to questions about dinosaurs and such. Wouldn't Google be easier (on the bandwidth, too)? And I would imagine mainland China to have online classrooms and the sort already...

I'm going to get a gilded welcome into the Society of Skeptics pretty soon, ain't I?

Friday night at the movies! I'll post the review as soon as we get back!

Alright, so t'was interesting..at best. The direction was really nice. Scorsese paid real close attention to costumes and other details like Leo's grown fingernails during his time as a recluse, but:

• I think Leo's face is sorta like one of those that never ages. That's cool for his career in Hollywood, but I had trouble digesting the fact that the entire movie had Leo's face not aging a bit. The little bits of facial hair and the sunken-eye makeup was close, but no cigar...
• For those of us who aren't familiar with the Howard Hughes' story, should the movie have had more of a message? I dig the "madness is an offshot of brilliance" bit and that the movie was a depiction of his life that need not necessarily have a 'message', so to speak - but the way I figure it, its a Hollywood movie, not a book. Its interesting, at times, to read book and think "Hm...that was an interesting personality", but thinking that while walking out of a movie theater late on a Friday night sorta tends to leave one feeling just a little dissatisfied
• The movie may certainly get the golden man for the "Best Movie". Its got all the ingredients for it. I didn't think much of individual performances, though.
• Baldwin's done well. The role's small, but one that rolls the ball. His quick and astute prophecy that immediately follows the end of the hearings was cool
• About the hearings...what happened after? Was the "case" dropped? Am I supposed to go home and Google the Howard Hughes' story for answers to questions like this?

Perhaps I'm just getting to be a jaded movie skeptic. Perhaps we were up too late on a Friday night. Perhaps it will get the Oscar.

I'll keep it simple after yesterday's long and possibly painful piece. Google and Amazon are going to get their feet wet in the big bad world of the box office.

Yes, our friendly and famous search engine with the ad-free front page that almost functions as everyone's second brain is going to make another attempt at making itself indispensable to the wired planet. It lets you search the Internet, it serves up maps and now it does showtimes and ticketing. If you can think of any other just-under-the-radar applications in our daily lives that elicit the thought - "That would be cool to do online", I'll bet you'll be Googling all of 'em in under a year from now. Nice strategy, ain't it? It'll be fun to see who gets the most anti-trust, anti-business-monopoly, anti-privacy lawsuits in a while from now - I think it'll be a toss between Microsoft, Google and Amazon.

Or maybe they'll merge into Marzoogle and control our lives. Remember, you heard it here first!

In other showbiz trivia, Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey are getting hitched. Best wishes to the couple, and to Matt for staying out of the crosshairs of a certain top gun. I would be very careful of someone offering me a stick of red and green chewing gum if I were him...